“Who. Are. You?” demanded the Caterpillar. “Well, I… I hardly know sir. I’ve changed so many times since this morning, you see.” “I do not see. Explain yourself.” “Well, I’m afraid I can’t explain myself, sir. Because I’m not myself, you know.” “I do knot know.” “Well, I can’t put it any more clearly, for it isn’t clear to me.” “You. Who are you?” ~ Walt Disney’s “Alice in Wonderland”, 1951 While I was manic, I was obsessed with the question “who are you?” (Fun fact: mania br

I’ve just made a cup of coffee. It smells delicious - rich and comforting, spiced with a pinch of cinnamon, made creamy with almond milk. The cup is hot in my hands, steam warming my face, my perpetually cold nose tip. I am enjoying each and every sip - the scent, the taste, the experience. I feel happy. Buzzed. Mildly giddy, actually. And then suddenly, for no apparent reason, I’m on the verge of tears. Correction - It would seem “the verge” was an optimistic assessment, for

Sometimes all you can do is sigh and start again. I did a Vipassana meditation retreat - it was over a year and a half ago now- and this is the one thing that comes back to me over and over and over again... Goenka's groaning voice at the beginning of each and every excruciatingly long sit, imploring us to: "Starrrrt Againnnn. Starrrrt Againnnn. With a calm and quiet mind..." And so now, after my sketchy Indian internet access has just caused an hour's worth of blogging to

I've been in India for two weeks and am simply loving it. But I've quickly come to see some of the frustrations people have to deal with while here. I've decided to regard them as lessons. Much easier to shug and sigh than to fight a whole sub-continent. Lesson Number One: On Non-Attachment. You don't necessarily need to have all the options laid out before you to make a decision. Sometimes you get what you get. I went to buy a SIM card, after having been advised which carrie

A really unfortunate and yucky incident happened to me the other day. The kind of yucky that persistently runs around in your brain, over and over again, until you're forced to spew it out on paper (or screen), even if you should be attending to more pressing matters, like packing for the 3 month trip to India you're leaving for... in 3 days. And so I'm gonna share my yucky story with you. I had gone into a store to buy myself some late afternoon chocolate (not an uncommon oc

I took a look at my website yesterday. It had been awhile. And then I realized that I hadn't written a blog post in far too long. So here I am. "What have you been doing, Madison, if not spending your summer regaling us with ridiculous and oh-so-wise tales about acupuncture and yoga?!?!" - you ask. And I reply - "I have been learning to play. And it is good." I've spent this summer shaking off the last SEVEN YEARS of full-time school plus part-time work, studying for

I have a confession to make. I think about dying. I think about it quite a bit. Probably more than is normal for a healthy, privileged, 26-year-old. In November 2012 I witnessed someone's death. A week later my uncle died suddenly in a car accident. And I was not one of those people who grew up never having experienced a funeral - coming from a Catholic farming family is synonymous with having a large extended family (it's that magical combination of not condoning birth contr

People often give me a surprised/shocked/I-think-you’re-insane kind of look when they find out that I do two hours of yoga, 4-6 days per week. And I practice Ashtanga Yoga, which is pretty intense… some might say it’s yoga for driven, motivated - and possibly crazy! - Type-A personalities. I would never make such assumptions, but I will mention that I usually start practicing around 6 a.m. Yep, that’s in the morning. Yes, it’s still dark outside. Anyway, 98.7% of the time, I